Do you want to reduce drama in your life?

Santosh Kanekar

“I love Drama especially ⁣
in fights”⁣
No one says this⁣
And yet, most participate⁣

Amongst people we know⁣
There is always someone we say is a Drama Queen⁣

Reality we all have the capability and inclination to bring “drama” into our relationships⁣

Remember all the times ⁣
you had a tough conversation ⁣
which either resulted in ⁣
yelling, shouting and hurling insults or ⁣
sulking in a corner and ⁣
giving each other the third-degree silent treatment⁣

Jim Dethmer says all drama in relationships happen due to 2 reasons⁣

1 Unkept agreements⁣
2 Unaligned commitments⁣

What’s that?⁣

See the video for examples on both⁣



Agreements are either explicit or implicit. ⁣

If they are spelt out and ⁣
you are not doing them then, ⁣
either you never wanted to do it and went with the flow ⁣
or you have an issue with keeping promises⁣

Which one is it for you?⁣

Commitments are often implicit and it is best to use ⁣
an emotional event in the relationship ⁣
to make it explicit⁣

For Eg you may have different opinions ⁣
on whether to remember ⁣
birthdays of parents on both sides. ⁣
Instead of shaming the other person, ⁣
designate the person ⁣
for whom this is important ⁣
to always remind ⁣
the other person on the coming birthdays⁣

In a business partnership, ⁣
you may have different values ⁣
around generosity ⁣
to clients or employees ⁣
eg doing work for free for clients or ⁣
giving surprise bonus to employees, ⁣
it’s best to make ⁣
these discussions explicit and ⁣
let the partner ⁣
who feels strongest about the issue, ⁣
take ownership of it⁣

Commitments and agreements are, ⁣
at heart, ⁣
about values. ⁣

Agreements just make them more explicit through tasks⁣
______________________________⁣
Please drop in comments⁣

Ask yourself
Which of the two: agreements and commitments, is an issue in your relationships, personal and professional?⁣ What action will you take?⁣

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